But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
