She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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