I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Screwed.edu
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
did you just send me my own nude
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
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