I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
one two three fourrrrnication!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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