Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
