I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
