If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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