Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
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