You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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