i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Randomize
