No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Randomize
