i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
What a dumb baby whore.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
