Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
