yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
