What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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