i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
