its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
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