You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
