The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Randomize
