Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Randomize
