Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize