I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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