All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
