True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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