dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
