that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
