Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
is wine microwaveable?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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