but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
