ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
