can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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