what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Randomize