I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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