Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
