just come out here and I will go home with you...
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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