Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize