K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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