I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
