You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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