I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
