I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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