i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
