But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
