Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
