she smelled like a LAN party
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
