If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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