Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
