and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
