why didn't you poke me back
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Randomize
