im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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