OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
