you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
