theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
