Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
