from now on my penis is your penis
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
