did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I came so hard my ears popped.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
