I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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