so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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