I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You can't just leave with hair like that
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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