No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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