do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
