my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
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