Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
