thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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