? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
