Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
