Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
