We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
