Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I have fence marks all over my body
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
