I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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