My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
