the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
