Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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