Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
