Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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