what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
