is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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