Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
do herpes really smell.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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