A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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