And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize
